Trigger warning: The content of this article discusses aspects of pregnancy loss that may be emotionally challenging for some people.
October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is an international day to acknowledge the little ones gone too soon. It is a time to break the taboo and discuss the heartbreaking loss of miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, medical termination, ectopic pregnancy, neonatal births and infant loss.
One in four. That’s the statistic used for women who have a pregnancy loss. The figures are alarming. Every year in Australia 110,000 people experience a miscarriage. 6 babies are born sleeping every day, and 600 lose their baby in the first month after birth.
Early loss can be particularly difficult to talk about.
There is a common notion for women not to share their pregnancy news “publicly” prior to twelve weeks, as the rate of loss is higher in the first trimester. What this can do is leave couples grieving in isolation. I’d like to encourage you to break this taboo and know that anyone who will be excited for you, will also help you through the hurt of loss. Your pain is no less valid because it was an early loss.
Missing a baby is forever.
The emotional upheaval this has on everyone ready for this baby is unlike anything else. We tend to focus on the mother in this situation, but don’t forget other family members. Follow their lead in what they feel comfortable talking about. Red nose are experts in this area, have amazing resources online, and help lines you can call 24 hours. Some people can process their grief through talking and journalling, while others need a more tangible way to process their emotions.
Natural medicine offers some herbs and nutrients that support your emotional wellbeing.
Flower essences are beautiful ways to incorporate and process energy like grief, trauma and pain. A rescue blend is an ideal gift to show a grieving couple you care.
Amino acids support neurotransmitter production, and supplementing with specific amino acids may improve mental health. L Theanine is an amino acid that promotes feelings of calm. Its soothing benefits are felt quite fast, as it crosses the blood brain barrier and exerts its relaxation effect. It may be beneficial when you feel overwhelmed, as it can calm your nervous system down.
Herbal medicines can assist if you are feeling anxious, having trouble sleeping, find yourself feeling depleted and run down. Consider passionflower, lemon balm, magnolia, chamomile, and holy basil. Come and see one of our naturopaths in store to help you find the ideal blend you need.
Aromatherapy is a gentle yet profound way of healing. Combining lavender, rose, bergamot, with mediation, breathing, or cognitive behaviour therapy has been shown to help grief and trauma.
Postpartum support is extremely important after pregnancy loss.
Nourish a mother after loss with gifts of food that heal. Broth based stews, soups, and warming traditional recipes can restore iron, B vitamins and other depleted nutrients, helping her body restore. Supplementing with a liquid iron tonic, and a good quality multivitamin may be helpful too.
Physically the recovery of loss can come with unexpected challenges.
The grieving mother may have birthed naturally or had a caesarean and will need to heal physically while navigating her loss. Considering collagen or Gotu kola to encourage healing. There may be physical pain as well, so utilise anti-inflammatory supplements such as turmeric, fish oils, P.E.A, or Boswellia.
Suppressing lactation.
Depending on how far along you were in your pregnancy, milk may still come in three days post-partum. Sage and peppermint are drying herbs you can supplement with. Wrapping your breasts in fabric that has been soaked in ice cold Epsom salt water can help soothe the heat that you may feel if your breasts feel hot and engorged. You can massage with a jasmine infused oil to suppress lactation.
Lean on your community
Reach out to those closest to share your grief, or if it’s easier to talk with people outside of your circle, there are support groups and phone numbers available to you. Our Naturopaths are available to anyone to offer a kind ear, herbal support and a space for you to source information whether you are personally experiencing infant loss or in the support circle.
Cheree Sheldon
Adv Dip Naturopathy, Adv Dip Western Herbal Medicine & Adv Dip Nutritional Medicine
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